(COMIC) The Instigators, starring Lorenzo Lamas
Fellas, have some of you noticed that when you are in an argument with your girl, she has that weird gleam in her eye? Maybe, after the argument, there seems to be an odd air of satisfaction about her and perhaps even seems more affectionate? I’ve had a few (now ex) girlfriends who seemed to enjoy starting fights with me! According to Nancy Shute’s article “Upset Men and the Happy Women Who Love Them”:
” ‘The women tend to want to engage around conflict,’ she told Shots. ‘They’re deriving more satisfaction when they see that their partner is upset.”
Evidently we women see a man’s willingness to share negative feelings as a sign that he’s invested in the relationship.”
I see that behavior as completely unacceptable in a relationship. There is no way to sugar coat it or say it nicely; I hate when women do that. Do all women do it? No, of course not. Do enough women do it to where it’s noticeable and needs to be addressed? I certainly think so, and I think Shute does too if she wrote the article in the first place. There are a lot of things that women do in relationships that need to be talked about and dealt with; this need for negativity in a relationship being one of them. Why is this happening and why are some women doing this? One reason is beecause we men are not communicating effectively. We tolerate a lot of bad behavior, especially earlier in a relationship with a woman, because we want to have sex them and we will say an do anything to get that girl out of our dreams and into our bed. We’ll say anything except something that will make her unhappy and not want to sleep with us, and therefore, we’re not really letting them know how we feel about their behavior.
Women have no problem telling us dudes what we’re doing wrong, and in a healthy relationship, we should also be doing the same. To me, that is a true form of balance and equality in romantic involvements.
I know I do not want to be fighting with girl AT ALL. I hate fighting and arguing, but I know that it is unavoidable in a healthy relationship. There are a myriad of things that we all go through everyday that makes life hard, and I think a loving relationship should be a place of refuge from all that. Is that realistic? No, and I know that, but I hope that whatever girl I end up with can meet me halfway. Relationships aren’t perfect, but like many things in life, they don’t need to be as hard as we seem to make them out to be.
I’d be happy to hear your stories, ladies and gentlemen, of being in a relationship and dealing with a significant other who liked to argue. Leave a comment!