(COMIC) Real Black People in Horror Movies

I really want to see the horror movie where the black guy leaves before all the shit goes down. The first time the dinner set flies across the kitchen by itself, he’s says “Well, that’s it for me. I’m gonna’ get in my car and go while the sun is still out” and he just leaves. He’s not in the movie anymore. There are ALOT of black comedians who do bits on this, but the best of them is Richard Pryor talking about my favorite horror movie, “The Exorcist” :

(WARNING: Strong language. Also, I don’t own this shit)

Most of us in the black community just do NOT mess around with ghosts, demons, or whatever the hell is out there. We just leave. The first sign of some weird shit and we are out of there so fast. The thing is: I don’t know any white people in real life who would stick around when some horror-movie shit starts to go down, either. Everyone I know would just leave immediately at the first hint of the supernatural. The white people they have in these horror movies are some silly people and I don’t think you should have any empathy for their deaths. Regardless of race, if you want to hang around a haunted, demon infested house because “it’s your house and you bought it, godamnit” or you don’t listen to the creepy old guy who tells you not to go into “them there strange woods” at night, then anything that happens to you is deserved. Why the hell would you go into a wooded area that you don’t know at night?

I was watching “Grizzly Man” a few days ago and I couldn’t help but laugh a little because that whole situation was absolutely ridiculous to me. You want to see a real life horror movie with typical horror movie consequences? Watch “Grizzly Man”, if you haven’t already. So much of life is just making the right decision and avoiding situations that will lead to you getting harmed. I know that shit happens and sometimes you have to man up and deal with some bullshit, but there is a difference between having to fight a dude in the street because he’s coming after you or your loved one and going all the way out into the middle of nowhere to go hang out with giant, man-eating killing machines with razor sharp fangs and claws. He might have loved those animals, but he clearly didn’t respect them as the powerful and dangerous animals they were.

Respect the situation and respect your surroundings. I promise you will be better for it.